East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
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