Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
