3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
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