3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Drunk is a universal language darling
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