At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Randomize
