but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
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