I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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