her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Randomize
