I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Randomize
