The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
are you so shy because you have an std?
Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
