This girl is more easily done than said...
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
Randomize
