You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
Heybabeimwearingurpanties
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize