You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
