you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
Just pee around me
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Randomize
