Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
Randomize
