I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Randomize
