i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
