we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
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