Quick, to the slutcave!
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
I enjoy the company of your penis
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
Randomize
