yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
Randomize
