My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
