apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
