The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
I'm getting married
To pizza
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
Randomize
