Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
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