scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Randomize
