Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
