Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize
