if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
We are all done wearing pants today
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize