And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
Randomize
