I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
Randomize
