She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
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