all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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