She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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