to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
As shirtless as possible
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Randomize
