your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
Randomize
