This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
