Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
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