dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
home. puking in laundry basket.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Randomize