i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
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