I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
How external is "for external use only"?
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
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