Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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