remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
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