i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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