yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Randomize
