also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Randomize
