I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
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