She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
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