She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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