Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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