I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Randomize
