East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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