WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
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