If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
Randomize
