Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
Randomize
