the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
Randomize
