Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
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