apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
Randomize
