Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize