I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
