It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
