u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
how does that bad decision feel?
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
