At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
Randomize
