i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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