Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
Randomize
