I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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