I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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