One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
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