Fuck appropriateness.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
