I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
Randomize
