Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
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