Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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