I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
