dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
we're so committed to being not committed
Randomize
